People Pleasing, and the Consequences of Social Media on Your Individuality

Abram Moore
4 min readApr 21, 2022

“People-pleaser” was once used synonymously with “one who would lend a helping hand.” Unfortunately, in a world of toxic capitalism and selfish predatory behavior, people often take advantage of good people.

Whether you admit it or not, there is an innate feeling inside of you that makes you want to please others. This behavior stems from one’s desire to form camaraderie and assimilate into groups to survive. Over time, humans instinctively learned that if we work together, we can overcome more significant threats like larger predators and forces of nature. Today, while human nature desires companionship, predators within our species attempt to take advantage of individuals who have helpful dispositions.

Are you reading this article and are vehemently opposed to what I am saying because you put in the work to overcome this common human flaw? More importantly, should people-pleasing be considered a flaw at all? The connotation of the phrase “people pleaser” had become negative when the essence of the expression intends to be pleasant and complimentary. The truth is, being a people pleaser is not always a bad thing.

While it’s a blessing to have the knowledge and capacity to help others, overutilizing that privilege can have long-lasting and damaging effects on someone’s identity.

Suppose you have not mastered the ability to choose yourself over the needs of others. In that case, your identity and self-worth are tethered to the perceptions of others and the value you bring them. Your decisions become less about what you can do for yourself and concentrate on what you can do for others. People-pleasing in the wrong hands makes you a slave to external forces that cause you to think, move, and react in ways that make others feel more comfortable. Your actions might be complimentary to them even when it makes you feel uncomfortable.

The truth is, feeling accountable for other people’s emotions is not always a terrible thing. However, simple people-pleasers who step in whenever there is a need can find themselves in unfortunate predicaments. What happens when you deny yourself of the things…

Abram Moore

Tech and Media Creative — a purpose-driven entrepreneur who shares thoughts and insights on personal and business development and how to balance the two.